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AND (Agent of Natural Destruction)

by Herb Garden

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1.
SHIT ON ME (Words and music by Herb Garden) Drowning in your lechery you keep a nice face FRONT Smiling all the time, whilst placing daggers in my back It's time to reckon up, and see you as you are The little bigot bastard you really have become. In this world, this modern age, they tell me always, this: That it's cool to duck and dive and look out for yourself Emotions count for NOTHING, you roast them on the fire Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn. It's OK – shit on me, It's OK – shit on me, It's OK – you can shit on me, It's OK … - Shit on me. Told me things were out of order, then you did them all yourself Love is just absurdity - you've got to get your oats This fashion/poseur coolness, It's just a load of crap As far as I'm CONVINCED - this world is burning sick People always open mouths and splutter out their 'truths'. Miles and miles of platitudes it's really just a ruse. Now then: listen do - do your worst to me, And I'll Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn. It's OK – shit on me, It's OK – shit on me, It's OK – you can shit on me, It's OK … - Shit on me. [guitar: Phil] It's OK – shit on me, It's OK – shit on me, It's OK – you can shit on me, It's OK … - Shit on me. [coda] © Herb Garden 1989
2.
GOODIES (Words and music by Herb Garden) Well … It little matters where your morals lie - just keep consuming the Grand Illusion It doesn't matter where my judgements fly - I am a factor, it is human nature Look now those sharks are selling goodies Take your pick: it's disaster Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES And are we destined to this fatalist equation - of devastation, rearrangement? Time ticks, it's against our own nature - to call a stop, son, to this corruption Look now those sharks are selling goodies Toxic choice is being us human beings Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES But you can't have your goodies without having nasties No, you can't have your goodies without having nasties [repeat] Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES (But you can't have your goodies without having nasties No, you can't have your goodies without having nasties) Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES Still all these goodies we must freely expect, to arrive - all contrived And so my planet it circlerotates - I see the problem - it's still a-hatching Look now those sharks are selling goodies Toxic choice is being us human beings Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES Look at all, Look at all, Look at all those GOODIES But you can't have ya goodies wivout havin' NARSTIES! © Herb Garden 1989
3.
Buried ('91) 03:46
BURIED (Words and music by Herb Garden) Now. And here we go - again and again. It's in my lungs, it's in my head, it's everywhere. Again and again. Again and again. It's in my lungs, it's in my head, it's everywhere. What does this mean to me? Your petty vanity? I am out of my depth. Do you feel what I see? 'Cos we’re BURIED Buried right up to our necks Can't move our arms for the shit Buried right up to our necks Can't move our arms for the shit I can't escape your clutches. Your walls surround me And when I stand up, don't you think I can speak? 'Cos I’m BURIED Buried right up to my neck Can't move my arms for the shit Buried right up to my neck Can't move my arms for the shit … If you believe in me, well, I'm sorry but I don't know what to do, But I know - I've done nothing for you. 'Cos I’m BURIED Buried right up to my neck Can't move my arms for the shit Buried right up to my neck Can't move my arms for the shit … [twin guitars] Oh no. Again and again It's in my lungs it's in my head It's everywhere - where I care to look Where’s it coming from? Where’s it coming from? Where’s it coming from? Where’s it coming from? It's everywhere ... coming everywhere!! And who am I to say ‘don't do things my way’? Maybe that's alright. Could be I mess up your life. 'Cos we're BURIED Buried right up to our necks Can't move our arms for the shit Buried right up to our necks Can't move our arms for the shit. © Herb Garden 1991
4.
SWITCHING ON (Words and music by Herb Garden) Yeh, flypost it - around the world Flypost it - around the world Who's the fool who claims an alibi? No, no, no - just watching the money patrol TV image - put your head in the sand No, no, no - is this the way to evolve? All the signs say 'Buy it!' 'Sell it!' Enterprise they say's the by-word, BUT Hesitate my world's in fever And neon banners display this order. (Switching on to new religion) Switch on. Switch on. DIRTY MONEY Broadcast it - around the world Broadcast it - around the world The intravenous image broadcast No, no, no - they're pushing for mind-control And these visions talk with forked tongues No, no, no - is this the way to evolve? This media-age of forced aggression Fuels big tastes, creates compulsions, BUT Hesitate my world's in fever Organic matters have no factor. (Switching on to new religion) Switch on. Switch on. DIRTY MONEY TV … insanity … We're talking … TV … insanity … We're talking … Necessity makes us players all. No, no, no - just watching the money patrol The new Messiah they say’s in our pocket. No, no, no. Is this the way to evolve? You can't defy, our sucked-in order This TV forced a new religion, BUT Hesitate my world's in fever And the power has no flower. (Switching on to new religion) Switch on. Switch on. DIRTY MONEY. Switch on. [Switch it.] © Herb Garden 1990
5.
SHED OFF THE POUNDS (Words and music by Herb Garden) Dieticians tell them news People go on five-mile runs Occupation all devout Cut out the butties fried and nice Got to shed off the pounds - it's aesthetic propaganda Got to shed off the pounds - to make your life better Got to shed off the pounds - it's that Western occupation Got to shed off the pounds - it's aesthetic propaganda Higher-seller work-out tapes Vanity has gonne to seed More subscribers part with cash Sod the Third World, let's look flash Got to shed off the pounds - it's aesthetic propaganda Got to shed off the pounds - to make your life better Got to shed off the pounds - it's that Western occupation Got to shed off the pounds - it's aesthetic propaganda Work it out!! [pant, pant, gasp!] Oyez, work it out for yourselves! Oyez Work it ouuuuuuuutt!! Surgeons face-lift the grotesque Cosmetic values grow and grow Got to look your Sunday best (Not yourself- Be someone else!) Got to shed off the pounds... WORK IT OUT! © Herb Garden 1989
6.
WET DREAM (Words and music by Herb Garden) Well, when I was young I thought I was free And all the nice people lived their perfect lives This world of opportunities was open to see And this life, this universe, revolved around me I've got to wake up. I've got to shake up. Living your life in a big wet dream Where things don't appear first as they seem. So all those thoughts that I trusted were all well and good And that people weren't just in it to get what they could I greenly believed what most people said Then I left myself open - I was perfect prey I've got to wake up. I've got to shake up. Living your life in a big wet dream Where things don't appear first as they seem. Wake up, wake up. Oh now all these thoughts they’re sending me to OBLIVION Which way should I turn, to the right, to the left? Forwards or backwards? But now I know the change is coming is coming, is coming... NOW So, they sent me to oblivion and the predictable play Of the cynics sitting satisfied brushing all aside Well, this bubble's got to burst, my friend. One day it WILL 'Cos this life, this universe don't revolve around you You've got to wake up. You've got to shake up. Living your life in a big wet dream Where things don't appear first as they seem. Living your life in a big wet dream Yeah things don't appear first as they seem. Wake up. © Herb Garden 1990
7.
D.N.A. ('91) 03:28
D.N.A. (Words and music by Herb Garden) Yeh. There's a message, better hear it now If you don't it'll be too late Toxic gases running from your tail-pipe It's disaster to the bitter end. Too much abstract creation Painful roads of erosion for the soul that's within On this one rock in a million Sail on the human condition All that is lies-and-seduction Laying all our hopes to waste On this one rock in a million Call us DNA: Destructive Natural Agents We've got the chromosome That makes us MAN - that's M.A.N. Been on the planet relatively seconds But you know it doesn't take much time Have it now and don't think thrice – The consequence is neither here nor there. Join in the escapist convention Passport from fundamental realities From DNA to the Bomb Sail on the human condition All that is lies-and-seduction Laying all our hopes to waste On this one rock in a million Call us DNA: Destructive Natural Agents We've got the chromosome That makes us MAN - that's M.A.N. Walking thru the backstreets of life, Always doing the breast-stroke Marking time. Well, planting cows and cutting trees Mother Nature chokes on shit Bad heart and a dodgy brain Becomes the expected fix. Too much abstract creation, Painful roads of erosion for the soul that's within On this one rock in a million Sail on the human condition All that is lies-and-seduction Laying all our hopes to waste On this one rock in a million. Call us DNA: Destructive Natural Agents We've got the chromosome That makes us MAN - that's M.A.N. © Herb Garden 1991
8.
NONSENSE (Words and music by Herb Garden) Now - come join the fun In the game of family consumption And populate, yeah calculate How much one species can really take Nonsense - this world is overpopulated Nonsense - to destruction dedicated Set the wheels to Oblivion 'Cos where will we be in a hundred years on? Nonsense - this world is overpopulated Nonsense - to destruction dedicated Marketing déjà vu. Nonsense rules shooting at you Marketing déjà vu. Nonsense rules shooting at you So - reproduce and take your view That this world is out to TAKE So - shape your face, I know your place It will seal the fate of the human race Nonsense - this world is overpopulated Nonsense - this place is near exacerbated All you can sing about is your phoney love But where will we be in a hundred years on? Nonsense - this world is overpopulated Nonsense - to destruction dedicated Marketing déjà vu. Nonsense rules shooting at you Marketing déjà vu. Nonsense rules shooting at you Huh! (Whoaarrghh!i!) Now - take this weight that man has made In this world that he conceives is really fake Take this weight and call a break To these decadent feasts that seal our fate Nonsense - this world is overpopulated Nonsense - to destruction dedicated A monosodium glutamate fix from an almighty corporate fist Nonsense - this world is overpopulated Nonsense - to destruction dedicated Marketing déjà vu. Nonsense rules shooting at you Marketing déjà vu. Nonsense rules shooting at you [Bom, Bom, Bom-bom, Buddle-um-Baaam] © Herb Garden 1990
9.
SHIT ON ME (Words and music by Herb Garden) Drowning in your lechery you keep a nice face FRONT, Smiling all the time, whilst placing daggers in my back. It's time to reckon up, and see you as you are, The little bigot bastard you really have become. In this world, this modern age, they tell me always, this: That it's cool to duck and dive and look out for yourself. Emotions count for NOTHING, you roast them on the fire, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn. It's O.K. – shit on me, It's O.K. – you can shit on me, It's O.K. – shit on me, It's O.K. … - Shit on me. Told me things were out of order, then you did them all yourself, Love is just absurdity - you've got to get your oats. This fashion/poseur coolness, it's just a load of crap, As far as I'm CONVINCED - this world is burning sick. People always open mouths and splutter out their "truths". Miles and miles of platitudes it's really just a ruse. Now then: listen do - do your worst to me, And I'll Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn. It's O.K. – shit on me, It's O.K. – shit on me, It's O.K. – shit on me, It's O.K. … - Shit on me. Schizer!! [guitar: Phil] It's O.K. – shit on me, It's O.K. – you can shit on me, It's O.K. – shit on me, It's O.K. … - Shit on me. © Herb Garden 1989

about

'AND' Artpack. To help you decipher some (just some) of what Herb Garden were about, there are 15 (count ‘em) downloadable illustrations and arty-facts available here FREE with the album. Look for the bonus items. Enjoy!

‘CIRCLEROTATE - 1979 & 1989: the pivotal years behind ‘AND’.

To mark Herb Garden’s 1989-92 glory daze we present ‘AND (Agent of Natural Destruction)’, a new album of the songs that brought us our allocated ‘15 minutes’. Nine lusciously re-mastered EARLIER VERSIONS of the Garden’s golden grates - never commercially available until now.

The nine songs on ‘AND’ have been digitally remastered from original studio recordings made and owned by Herb Garden, and are made available here exclusively. All songs originally recorded at The White House Studio, Kewstoke, North Somerset, UK between November 1989 and May 1991. Remasters by Martin Nicholls, November 2013. Produced by Herb Garden.

These new recordings represent ‘Part Two’ of a digital remastering project Herb Garden started in November 2013 when the band decided to revisit their studio archives. Carl, Ben, Rat and Phil returned to The White House - a recording studio near the sands of Weston-Super-Mare, home of Monty Python’s John Cleese. This was where Herb Garden made the bulk of their recordings, between 1989 and 1994. ‘Part One’ of the project can be found in the mini-musical Pandora’s Box that is ‘Herb Garden Quartet’ (HGQ) – an album that finishes where this one picks up: 1989. HGQ’s ‘We Don’t Need These Things At All’ is one of two songs that pushed the band to try a new approach to their evolving sound. The second song (mentioned below) is one that appears twice on this album in unique, early versions recorded 18 months apart. In total the song would see Carl put the scat into scatological in three professional recordings of the title, and probably 100 highly animated live performances. Herb Garden can thank this inexplicably expletive-rich lyric, in part, for their modicum of success.

Among other things, we’ve 1979 to thank as well, for that was the year everything changed - even punk. Jilted John was having follow ups to that ‘Gordon’ song. Ozzy got chucked out of Sabbath, Led Zep did their last uber-concert and The Knack hit No.1. Kate Bush went live, but in the year Sid died, Herb Garden started going to Big School. Think back to the influences of 1979, a year that will have influenced this album, in many ways.

To celebrate the importance of Big School in our formative years we commemorate 1979 and 1989 simultaneously because, by the time the 90s beckoned, Herb Garden had written one of their ‘biggest’ songs. The tune in question - hard-rocking live fave Sh!t On Me - was to eventually join a handful of ditties forming the running order of ‘Destructive Natural Agent’ (D.N.A.), a mini-album, released in 1992 by Warner Bros’ on their East West label – part of the Atlantic empire, and home of Simply Red, Tori Amos and Mr Chris Rea! [OK, fair enough, and AC-DC].

It’s important for us to clarify that these songs are digitally re-mastered original versions of recordings that Herb Garden own the mechanical rights of, rather than the later, re-recorded versions that came out as ‘Destructive Natural Agent’ (DNA) on East West Records in 1992. The East West (re)recordings occurred at HG’s fourth (of seven) White House recording sessions, 2-6 December 1991. The seventh session was in 2013 and you’re hearing that now.

Some say the Warners album was polished, slick and shiny. Others say it was too fast. Yet more, different, real people say the recordings remastered here are the better versions of the songs. What can we say? How can we judge? We only wrote, played and recorded all of them.

SO, 'CHEERS' 1989! You gave us some fun for sure. And you gave us our second Herb Garden 'sound’. But more importantly, thanks Musical Melting Pot of 1979 - without you none of it would not have happened!

TRACKS 1, 2 & 5 originally recorded 23-24 November 1989.
In 1989 HG released the three songs as a cassette demo ‘National Lavatory’, with original notes and credits as follows: ‘Buttons, knobs and wires – Martin Nichols. Shouting at each other and making the tea – Herb Garden. Acknowledgements: Eddie Martin, Neil Keech, Simon Liar, Martin Liar, John ‘Up Your Trousers’ Rolfe, anybody and everybody instrumental in the weft of our perceptive and creative tendencies, the growth of our mettle and the expansion of our telephone directories. You know who you are. Dave would personally like to thank the Aberdeen terrier for being such fascinating breed. Ratty would not.’

TRACKS 4, 6 & 8 originally recorded 21-22 June 1990.
These three songs first appeared as a cassette-only mini album called ‘Furry Green Cassette’, sometimes compiled with the original recordings of Tracks 1, 2 and 5. Like Rat’s white Hohner (Steinberg copy) ‘cricket bat’ guitar, the fake green fur literally covered the cassette case (see Art Pack download with this album) – another DIY marketing production with everything done by hand using double-sided sticky tape. An earlier DIY production had been Herb Garden’s eponymous 1989 vinyl debut record. All card sleeves had been printed fine but had not been cut, scored or glued. Try doing that 500 times! But still we insisted ‘Pay No More Than £3’!

TRACKS 3, 7 & 9 originally recorded 1-2 May 1991.
These songs formed Session Three of the White House Studio recordings and would join with others here to form a sampler - a ‘super-demo’ - presented by Hardslug to East West records. They liked it enough for Herb Garden to record 'Destructive Natural Agent' half a year later, between 2 and 6 December 1991.

Acknowledgements.
It’s right and proper that thanks are made for the support and help we got around that time – and today. There are tonnes of others we’ll one day list as Herbal Heroes. Meanwhile ‘AND’ and ‘DNA’ thanks (in equal portions of gratitude) go to:

1991: James, for his little anecdotes, Sharon Tates Children, Nolde, Zygote, Bad Influence, Karl @ Words of Warning, Dean (DS4A), Dave (Read It? Eat Shit!), Rectify, Terminus, Beddis, Jason & Aston in Boston, Niall McGuirk, Village Idiots, Emmett, Warzone, Niall (P.O.P.), Si, Nick, Nick, Filthy Felching John, Darren, Martin, Martin Nicholls (Whitehouse), Fat Paul, Johnny Savage, James, Chris, Luke & Tim, Lesley, Clair, Becky, Steve HieronymousS, Kayce, James' Mum, Sally, Eddie the Fish, Johnny Morris (for his magic), Morty, Constantina, M.C. Trucker Truck, Steve McMarsh & our p&ms. In those days you could contact Herb Garden c/o Hardslug … lpswich, Suffolk, England – [but not today].

2014. Rat: Penny, Iggy, Molly and Arnie the goldfish, Sal and Sean. Ben: Suzanne, Justin Holger Smith (RIP), Sam 'Stuff' Giles, Richard J Wilson (RIP), Matt ‘Bink Bonk’, Jochen ‘Erich’ Abel, Viva Maria!, Andy Burrows, Robert F. Cornick (Mr Tangent) and his brother Jon ‘Lord Cumberland Basin’. Carl: Lucille, Angelo. Phil: Jo. Dave: Claire and the girls.

© Herb Garden 2014
Catalogue Number UnBored-00003

credits

released October 4, 2014

All songs digitally remastered from original recordings produced by Herb Garden. Digital remasters by Martin Nicholls.

Words and music by Herb Garden:
• Carl Graves - lead vocals
• Phil Marsden - lead guitar
• Rat Crook - guitar and backing vocals
• Dave Crook - bass guitar and backing vocals
• Ben Wallis - drums and percussion

Album art:
Original line art illustration - Nick Hamer
Design - Ben Wallis, Hardslug, Herb Garden
Logo - Herb Garden's woodland logo derives from an original drawing by Steven Howe.

© Herb Garden 2014

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Herb Garden Bristol, UK

Welcome to the Herb Garden campsite. We will share lots of frenzied frolics and scrumpy-ous sonics with you here. Check out our sites too - we'll talk on Wordpress, lark about on Facebook, shimmer on Flickr, and glimmer on YouTube, natch.

We've remastered 1989's Eponymous EP, often known as 'Bulldozer Jones', and all the tracks that led to Warner's DNA mini-LP. We've loads to reveal!
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