Herb Garden Quartet, by Herb Garden

Herb Garden Quartet

by Herb Garden

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1.	Bulldozer Jones ('88) 03:00	lyrics	buy track
BULLDOZER JONES (Words and music by Herb Garden) Go! Well Farmer Jones is on his patch Got to grow faster, throw on fertiliser Protect the city, local planners Got to build higher, throw up skyscraper Bulldozer Jones The alarm clock’s ringing the bell Bulldozer Jones Using up the crumbs of your fuel Bulldozer. Take over. Cash over. NOW! Bulldoze me … down Well Miguel Sanchez down in the forest Got to fell the wood to build your table Parish news says ‘it’s time to move’ Build a new runway, last you 'til Monday Bulldozer Jones The alarm clock’s ringing the bell Bulldozer Jones Using up the crumbs of your fuel Bulldozer. Take over. Cash over. NOW! Bulldoze me … down [Repeat chorus] [Solo: Phil] © Herb Garden 1988
2.	Red Van ('88) 04:04	lyrics	buy track
RED VAN (Words and music by Herb Garden) Oi, oi, oi Oh red van, red van, There's a flashing light, burning bright. Red van, red van, There's a fire in the way, there's a nuclear flash. Johnny hobbles home After having a good time But did his mother tell him About the meanies in the corner? Oh dear, oh dear, there's a fire about Big red van (x4) Big red van (x4) Every night his mother would tell him About the black meanies in the east They're gonna cause a friction They're gonna cause a fight Oh red van, red van, There's a flashing light, burning bright Red van, red van, There's a fire in the way, there's a nuclear flash. (Chorus) Fire, fire, fire, fire FIRE! [Guitar solo – Phil] Oh Red van, red van, There's a fire in the way, there's a nuclear flash Red van, red van, Post-box light it’s shining bright Along come the Stars and Stripes To put it all Right But oh what delight when you see them They're falling, they're falling, they're falling, they're falling... (Chorus) Big red van! (x8) © Herb Garden 1988
3.	Convicted Man ('88) 03:03	lyrics	buy track
CONVICTED MAN (Words and music by Herb Garden) [Guitar: Phil] What can you do with life When it’s thrown right back into your face? Said the convicted man Who was educated right to feed his wife. Down on poverty line The troops are set for the war of attrition Satchels turn into Contemptuous abuse Because you’re: Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Cold walls (cold walls) Convicted man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted man Convicted! [Guitar: Phil] What can you do with life When it’s thrown right back into your face? Said the convicted man Who was educated right to feed his wife. Down on poverty line The troops are set for the war of attrition Satchels turn into Contemptuous abuse Because you’re: Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Cold walls (cold walls) Convicted man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted man Convicted! Convicted Man! © Herb Garden 1988
4.	Sunburn ('88) 02:27	lyrics	buy track
SUNBURN (words and music by Herb Garden) So off to British beaches I must go To play the Fool and drink the wine again With Filofax and Whitbread smile I’ll raise the roof with my toupée With my Union Jack shorts And my Butlin’s badge To microwave in a cheaper sky Impressed I am with cancer spots – What? Cos when the ozone layer comes down You’re gonna get sunburn Sunburn!! Cos when the ozone layer comes down You’re gonna get sunburn Sunburn!! And so the Jenkins’ off to Italy I’ll wear my trunks and hope it’s hot today And under British skies there I’ll lie I’ll spray my hair with Boris Hair Complaint With my deckchair placed And my trousers rolled up To money-save in a cheaper sky Aerosol to save my soul What? Cos when the ozone layer comes down You’re gonna get sunburn Sunburn!! Cos when the ozone layer comes down You’re gonna get sunburn Sunburn!! [Guitar solo – Phil] Cos when the ozone layer comes down You’re gonna get sunburn Sunburn!! Cos when the ozone layer comes down You’re gonna get sunburn Sunburn!! Cos when the ozone layer comes down You’re gonna get sunburn Sunburn!! Cos when the ozone layer comes down You’re gonna get sunburn Sunburn!! © Herb Garden 1988
5.	Ice Cream Man (Live, '88) 06:13	lyrics
ICE CREAM MAN (LIVE ’88) (Words and music by Herb Garden) Ah - you’ll be so lucky! Ahhh….. I’ve got a feeling for something sweet I look around all dazed and confused I put my hand into my pocket And pull out a 50p coin So I walk towards the illuminated van And there in front of me stands the man Mr ice cream man Mr Ice Cream Man All I wanted was a Cornetto®! Ice cream man ice cream man all I wanted was a Cornetto® Ice cream man ice cream man all I wanted was a Cornetto® Floating thru hyperspace, floating thru hyperspace Floating thru hyperspace 1-2, 1-2 Floating thru hyperspace, floating thru hyperspace Floating thru hyperspace 1-2, 1-2 Ice cream man ice cream man all I wanted was a Cornetto® Ice cream man ice cream man all I wanted was a Cornetto® Scream for ice scream, ice cream for I scream Ice cream for I scream, I scream for ice cream. Yeah. Ice cream man ice cream man all I wanted was a Cornetto® Ice cream man ice cream man all I wanted was a Cornetto® Floating thru hyperspace, floating thru hyperspace Floating thru hyperspace 1-2, 1-2 Floating thru hyperspace, floating thru hyperspace Floating thru hyperspace 1-2, 1-2 Ice cream man ice cream man all I wanted was a Cornetto® Ice cream man ice cream man all I wanted was a Cornetto® Oooohhh Ahhhh-oowwwww Dahhhh aahhh ahh ahhhh Dah-dah-dah da da da … Dddrrrlllkkk! I’ve got another feeling for something sweet I look around all dazed and confused I put my hand into my pocket And puuu-uulll, pull out, a 50p coin So I walk towards the illuminated van And there in front of me stands the man Mr ice cream man Mr Ice Cream Man All I wanted was a Cornetto®! Cornetto® Cornetto® Cornetto® Cornetto®! Dah da da da dar! [Guitar solo: Phil] Thank you very much that’s your lot tonight ... … Do you want us to bother going off or not!? © Herb Garden 1988
6.	Space Traffic Warden ('88) 02:27	lyrics	buy track
Space Traffic Warden (Words and music by Herb Garden) [space-birds:] “… Sorvad htiw evol ni m’I! …” Well, big red book, extended film Many cars have raised his bid With a big red nose and a furry white beard Posters say he’s coming to town Space traffic warden – don’t bust my head Space traffic warden – they’re coming to get you! Space traffic warden – you bust my head Space traffic warden – they’re coming to get you! Illuminating, fascinating, cosmic and - wow! On his cloud he reads the news Frantically, frantically waving his arms Spiral-gyral comet-shoot Another dream hits the ground Space traffic warden – don’t bust my head Space traffic warden – they’re coming to get you! Space traffic warden – you bust my head Space traffic warden – they’re coming to get you! Illuminating, fascinating, cosmic and - wow! When the hand is up, everything stops The universe says it’s time for tea If you see a flash don’t be brash It’s only the warden boogie-ing on down Space traffic warden – don’t bust my head Space traffic warden – they’re coming to get you! Space traffic warden – you bust my head Space traffic warden – they’re coming to get you! Illuminating, fascinating, cosmic and - wow! [guitars: Phil and Rat] Illuminating, fascinating, cosmic and - wow! © Herb Garden 1987
7.	Convicted Man (Demo, '88) 03:11	lyrics	buy track
Convicted Man (Words and music by Herb Garden) [Guitar: Phil] What can you do with life When it’s thrown right back into your face? Said the convicted man Who was educated right to feed his wife. Down on poverty line The troops are set for the war of attrition Satchels turn into Contemptuous abuse Because you’re: Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Cold walls (cold walls) Convicted man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted man Convicted! [Guitar: Phil] What can you do with life When it’s thrown right back into your face? Said the convicted man Who was educated right to feed his wife. Down on poverty line The troops are set for the war of attrition Satchels turn into Contemptuous abuse Because you’re: Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Cold walls (cold walls) Convicted man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted, man (Convicted Man) Convicted man Convicted! Convicted Man! © Herb Garden 1987
8.	You Know Who ('87) 02:28	lyrics	buy track
You Know Who (Words and music by Herb Garden) Ooohhhhh! Ohhhhhh! You can ask him the time, you can ask him the weather He’ll always be able to give you an answer He’s the king of the cards - he’s a real sensation Lends out his wisdom at the cheapest price You know who, you know who Introducing Professor Drew You know who, you know who Introducing Professor Drew [Guitar: Phil] You can travel in your mind you can scramble up your life He’ll always be able to give you an answer He’s the king of the cards - he’s a real sensation Lends out his wisdom at the cheapest price You know who, you know who Introducing Professor Drew You know who, you know who Introducing Professor Drew [Guitar: Phil] You know who, you know who Introducing Professor Drew You know who, you know who Introducing Professor Drew You know who, you know who Introducing Professor Drew You know who, you know who Introducing Professor Drew Da da-da da die lie lie i-Li-li-li-li-li Lie Lie! Hello Professor Drew…. © Herb Garden 1987
9.	Freak Out ('87) 02:03	lyrics	buy track
FREAK OUT (words and music by Herb Garden) When I woke up this morning I found I’d grown an extra leg And to my surprise, it was crystallized And my knees had turned an awful colour red Oh Freak out. Freak Out! The world’s not what it appears Freak out. Freak Out! I think I’d grown an extra leg! So I shuffled down past the tennis courts That appeared in the middle of my oo-oom Looking down again I picked up my clothes And wrapped myself up in my apparel Freak out. Freak Out! The world’s not what it appears Freak out. Freak Out! I realised I had to go to work! [Le solo stereophonique! Phil and Rat!] Freak out. Freak Out! The world’s not what it appears Freak out. Freak Out! The ghost’d grown an extra leg. Freak out. Freak Out! The world’s not what it appears Freak out. Freak Out! I had to go to work! Aaaaooowwwwww! Meeeehh... © Herb Garden 1987
10.	Red Van (Demo, '87) 04:13	lyrics	buy track
Red Van (words and music by Herb Garden) Oi, oi, oi Oh red van, red van, There's a flashing light, burning bright. Red van, red van, There's a fire in the way, there's a nuclear flash. Johnny hobbles home After having a good time But did his mother tell him About the meanies in the corner? Oh dear, oh dear, there's a fire about Big red van (x4) Big red van (x4) Every night his mother would tell him About the black meanies in the east They're gonna cause a friction They're gonna cause a fight Oh red van, red van, There's a flashing light, burning bright Red van, red van, There's a fire in the way, there's a nuclear flash. (Chorus) Fire, fire, fire, fire FIRE! [Guitar solo – Phil] Oh Red van, red van, There's a fire in the way, there's a nuclear flash Red van, red van, Post-box light it’s shining bright Along come the Stars and Stripes To put it all Right But oh what delight when you see them They're falling, they're falling, they're falling, they're falling... (Chorus) Big red van! (x8) © Herb Garden 1987
11.	We Don't Need These Things At All ('89) 03:03	lyrics	buy track
WE DON'T NEED THESE THINGS AT ALL (Words and music by Herb Garden) I’m a refuse creator in the bitter factory A hopeful expecter in the Sea of the Angry And the fish that glow in that sea They don’t look too healthy to me I’m a re-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fuse creator! I’m a re-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fuse creator! In the shadow factory. Because: We Don’t Need These Things At All We Don’t Need These Things At All! Did Nature nurture us to kill and destroy, To tarmac up forest and to tarmac up land? Those concrete fields that are growing there, They don’t seem too productive to me. I’m a re-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fuse creator! I’m a re-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fuse creator! In the shadow factory. Because: We Don’t Need These Things At All We Don’t Need These Things At All! Endless, churning smoke in the air I’m a refuse creator just living my lie-ife And everyone else is living this life This old world ain’t healthy to me. I’m a refuse creator! I’m a re-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fuse creator! In the shadow factory. One day I had a dream: I was sitting in a tree Then one day this ape awoke, to find he was never, never free And I’m climbing up that tree, Just climbing and running away. Because: We Don’t Need These Things At All We Don’t Need These Things At All! [Guitar solo: Phil] © Herb Garden 1989

about

Please note: purchases of whole album contain two tracks that are unavailable as single downloads.

These 12 songs (check for bonus tracks) have been digitally remastered from original analogue tapes by Herb Garden, and are made available here exclusively. Remasters by Martin Nicholls.

"FOOL CIRCLE: a bit about ‘Herb Garden Quartet', the Remasters.

This album brings together for the first time four digitally remastered recording sessions that reflect some of the studio activities of Bristol bumpkin-punks Herb Garden between 1987 and 1989. This was the band’s formative period and prior to this they had recorded in kitchens, sheds and maternal dining rooms, often under strange monikers such as Cellophane Earwigs* but rarely to great acclaim therefore.

By 1987 Herb Garden were sometimes known as ‘Herb Garden Quartet’ which the band thought of a tremendous quirk as, yes, there were five performers in the act. How the fans loved this and applauded them for their originality and puckish – nay, gnome-like - ways (†)!

In November 2013 the band decided to revisit their studio archives for a remastering project. Carl, Ben, Rat and Phil returned to The White House - a recording studio near the sands of Weston-Super-Mare. This was where Herb Garden made the bulk of their recordings, between 1989 and 1994, i.e. after the original recordings that are re-presented here. ‘Part One’ of the project resulted in these digital remasters, produced by the band and expertly engineered by Herb Garden's regular recording engineer, Martin Nicholls.

Words and music by Herb Garden:
• Carl Graves - lead vocals
• Phil Marsden - lead guitar
• Rat Crook - guitar and backing vocals
• Dave Crook - bass guitar and backing vocals
• Ben Wallis - drums and percussion

Production credits for 'Herb Garden Quartet':

All 12 tracks digitally remastered by Martin Nicholls. Tracks 1-4: original recording made at SAM STUDIO, Bristol. Engineered by Sooty/Simon Frazer. Produced by Paul Jocelyn/Herb Garden. Originally released on the Vermin Vinyls, 5-track 12" e.p. ‘Herb Garden’ (1989). Track 5: recorded live at Western Star Domino Club, Bristol, 1988. Live engineer: Paul Jocelyn. Originally released on the Vermin Vinyls, 5-track 12" e.p. ‘Herb Garden’ (1989). Tracks 6-7: recorded at E+ Studio (The Facility) 18-19 February 1988. Studio engineer: Paul Jocelyn, produced by Herb Garden and Paul Jocelyn. Tracks 8-11: originally recorded at E+ Studios (The Facility), Bristol, 4-5 August 1987. Originally part of a cassette-only release, ‘Herb Garden, No1’. Track 12: original recording made at PIJ studio, King Square, Bristol, June 1989. Live engineers: Fat Paul and Dave McDonald. Produced by Herb Garden and Dave McDonald. Cover art remastered by Ben Wallis.

About the original five-track e.p. ‘Herb Garden’:
• Originally released on the Vermin Vinyls, 5-track 12" e.p. ‘Herb Garden’ (1989).
• Catalogue No. VER1.
• Original recording made at SAM STUDIO, Bristol.
• Engineered by Sooty/Simon Frazer.
• Produced by Paul Jocelyn/Herb Garden.
• Cut at Porky’s Prime Cuts, London UK - ‘A Porky Prime Cut’ (‡). Side A: Bulldozer Jones, Red Van. Side B: Convicted Man, Sunburn, Ice Cream Man (Live).
• Illustration: Nick Hamer (‘Nick Hammer’).
• Herb Garden's woodland logo is from an original drawing by Steven Howe.
• Photo: Simon Sherrin.
• Sleeve layout: Steve Taylor.
• In 1989 Herb Garden said, ‘Pay no more than £3’.

(*) The band’s very early recordings may surface in 2015 as extra tracks
(†) It would not be until July 1990 that the common or garden gnome would play a more significant part in the band’s life.
(‡) Porky’s play-out message on Side A reads: 'Sod off Seers' and on Side B reads: ‘I love you Spider really’. Less Hardcore, more Sweetcure?"

© Herb Garden 2014
Catalogue Number: UnBored-00002

credits

released July 28, 2014

All songs digitally remastered from original analogue tapes by Herb Garden. Digital remasters by Martin Nicholls.

Words and music by Herb Garden:
• Carl Graves - lead vocals
• Phil Marsden - lead guitar
• Rat Crook - guitar and backing vocals
• Dave Crook - bass guitar and backing vocals
• Ben Wallis - drums and percussion

license

about

Herb Garden Bristol, UK

Welcome to the Herb Garden campsite. We will share lots of frenzied frolics and scrumpy-ous sonics with you here. Check out our sites too - we'll talk on Wordpress, lark about on Facebook, shimmer on Flickr, and glimmer on YouTube, natch.

We've remastered 1989's Eponymous EP, often known as 'Bulldozer Jones', and all the tracks that led to Warner's DNA mini-LP. We've loads to reveal! ... more

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